The End of Sanctuary

I was invited to Ruth’s for dinner this past Thursday evening, and I went to my old farm happy as a katydid on a summer evening. What an old fool I am!

The professor was there and over cranberry juice, crackers, and cheese - Ruth doesn’t allow alcohol at Orchard Hill Farm - he described his progress in my studio, “Sanctuary.”

“ I’ve photographed everything as I progressed down through the layers of stuff you left, Isaac.”

“But, I left no layers. Sanctuary was in fairly good order before I went to live at Pine Needle Retirement Home. As I had told you, Henry our dog had gotten a hold of one of the Varnastrama journals and jewed it up a bit. I know I left some of my writing, drawing, and photography in piles, but they were neat piles.”

“I wonder then what could have happened,” he said, and continued “ you know of course that there was a leak in the roof and many papers and drawings were damaged or destroyed. As far as I can see several years of your work and the papers that document it are gone. There are few if any pictures left that include the children.”

“Yes,” I said, “I was aware that there had been a leak. But I did not know that so much was gone. We’ve talked of these problems before.”

“And,” continued the professor, “Why did you burn some of your things.”

“What?” I asked in shock.

“I asked Ruth why some of the photographs, drawings, and papers were burned, and she told me she didn’t know they had been, that you must have burned them. Isaac, are you all right?”

I suppose that I was nearly apoplectic at that point. It took me several seconds to reply. The room was silent, and I could hear Ruth and Samuel fussing over dinner preparation in the kitchen. “I had no idea,” I finally managed to squeak out. “I never...”

“I found the burned materials in the Northeast corner of Sanctuary, he said. They were beneath the top layer, so I hadn’t seen them until I photographed that area and carefully removed some of the water damaged papers on top.”

Dinner was ruined. When spoken to I replied in monosyllables because I kept wondering who would have done such a thing and why. I watched Ruth as she spoke to the professor and thought that perhaps she had done it. I certainly wouldn’t put it past her. She hates my work so. She still thinks I’ve spent most of my life as a half crazed artist, and that she, her mother, and her brothers were damaged by my confused sexuality. However, I know that Rebecca and I did a good job bringing the children up. Both boys are successful professionals, and Ruth in her own right is extremely successful. The orchards are bringing in more fruit than ever, and our little fresh produce stand has become something on the order of a year round produce super market with crafts and lawn furniture thrown in.

Finally, during dessert, Ruth intoned in that sweet, unctuous voice she uses to gloss over self-seeking intent, “Daddy, the professor thinks that all of your things need to be stored in a safe place.” I asked if that hadn’t been the plan all along, but Ruth continued “So, they will be stored at the university in Pittsburgh.”

“But, I will still be able to use the things I want, right?”

“Think, Daddy. Are you going to drive hours to the university every time you want something. And, you would have to drive back with it.”

The professor jumped into the conversation at this point. “Of course you will be able to use things from the archived collection of your studio materials and work. It will simply be a matter of your signing them out at the university museum library, working with them in the library and returning them before you leave.”

“But,” I said, “I won’t be able to take them with me.”

“No,” he said.

It is indeed the end of Sanctuary. It has been removed. Yes, it exists, and yes I will continue to work, but Sanctuary is in the basement of a museum. It will no longer live, change, be damaged, or grow. It feels as though my right arm has been cut off!


E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

Clark’s Testimony

Charged with coming up with the definitive account of the September 11, 2001 attacks the 10 member board of The National Commission on Terrorist Attacks on the United States listened to testimony by former President Clinton’s staff members, the current president’s staff members, and others. Part of the commison’s job is to detail any lapses on the part of the United States government, whether it be White House, CIA, FBI, Pentagon, etc. that might have contributed to the country’s lack of preparedness for the tragic events of nine eleven.

Indeed, based on former White House staffer Richard Clark’s testimony, it would appear that the Bush White House must shoulder a large portion of responsibility for mistakes that helped to enable the attacks. Mr. Clark’s testimony began with the following statement.

"Your government failed you, and I failed you," he said. "We tried hard, but that doesn't matter because we failed you. And for that failure, I would ask, once all the facts are out, for your understanding and for your forgiveness."*

*2
Clark went on to describe how he had tried to get the Bush administration to take the threat of terrorist attack inside the United States’ borders seriosly. Clark had asked to arm preditor drones as part of a system of protection against just such a possibility as actually took place on 9/11. He had asked white house staffers and policy makers to "imagine a day after hundreds of Americans lay dead at home or abroad after a terrorist attack" and then in the imagining to ask, "What else they could have done?"

Of course the Bush White House claims this to be a contrived mess of clap-trap without foundation.

I find it interesting that Mr Clark worked for Presidents Clinton, George Bush, (GW’s Daddy) and Ronald Reagan before the current over-grown (let’s trim him down to size) Bush. This is no fluffy testimony that one can dismiss with a brush of one’s insufficient oil oligarchic hand, as it were.

Dinner at the Farm Last Night...

was horrible. Not the food, but the event itself was dire. Ruth has worked her malicious spell - sounds melodramatic, but, I’ll never give Ruthe the benefit of the doubt again. She has a rancorous spirit.. I’ll write the details later, Dear Journal. Right now I don’t want to think on it.

*CNN.com, Inside Politics, “Clark: Bush didn’t see terrorism as ‘urgent,’ 9/11 Panel hears from Berger, Tenet,” Thursday, March 25, 2004, posted 12:05 A.M. EST (Thursday, March 25, 2004, viewed 6:07 A.M. EST)

*2 “The September 11 Digital Archive,” American Social History Project / Center for Media and Learning, CUNY, http://911digitalarchive.org/ (Friday, March 26, 2004, viewed 6:32 A.M. EST)

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

FBI Followed Kerry’s Every Move

J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI had Kerry under heavy surveilance during the Nixon years in the White House. We know about Kerry’s war record in Vietnam. But, Kerry intimated that these old records were dug up by Republicans at this time to discredit him. It appears that Kerry led the group "Vietnam War Veterans Against the War," and that the FBI monitored them for about a year, concluding that they were citizens protesting within the law. Kerry eventually decided he could do more to end the war by running for public office.

The Los Angeles Times, in a story published Monday, cited FBI documents indicating the bureau spent a year monitoring the activities of the group... After returning from Vietnam, where he commanded a swift boat and won honors that included three Purple Hearts, Kerry became a leader of the group, thus coming under FBI scrutiiny.

*

Well, which-ever Republican group dug this one up, I want to thank you, because this information shows Kerry to be a man of convictions. He did what he had to do in Vietnam, and came home to fight valiently to end that tragic war. On the other hand, the national experience of Vietnam seems to have prepared us not at all for G. W. and the invasion and occupation of Iraq.
*2
Should we keep Mr. Bush, who “sort of” had a military career, who has embroiled us in a disasterous 23rd crusade? Does the USA desearve this president who has neither solved the problem of terrorism in the USA and the world, nor saved us from a freightening economic downward spiral, and the loss of millions of jobs?

Let me put it this way, do you and I desearve this man of the oil oligarchy who has lied to us about Saddam Hussain and WMD?

And I’ll answer my rhetorical question. NO! We do not desearve G.W. Bush!

I want a president who will take care of the job at hand, that is reconstruct the Iraq we destroyed, then fight to end this occupation, and remove us from Iraq at the earliest possible time with whatever honor that can be gathered from a situation in which we have no honor.


*AOL News, “FBI Spied on Kerry in the 70’s,” http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20040322154009990001&_mpc=news%2e10%2e2, 03/22/04, 21:15, EST, (viewed March 23, 2004, 6:31 A.M. EST)

*2 * image acquired from Blood for Oil, “http://www.bloodforoil.org/dubyah/” (Viewed Saturday, March 24, 2004, 6:24 A. M. EST)



E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

I’m Invited to dinner at Ruth’s Again!

That makes 2 times in one week. How odd is that?

What’s Ruth up to?

I wonder.

One Year Anniversary Protests Against Iraq War and Occupation

Among the protests held in capital cities, and towns around the world were those in London, Tokyo, Rome, Cairo, Los Angeles, California, Fayetteville, North Carolina, and Crawford, Texas. Crawford is near Mr. Bush’s ranch in Texas. In Tokyo protesters carried signs showing the Statue of Liberty launching a missile.

The United States death toll in Iraq is 577, 438 died after the war was declared over by Mr. Bush last May first. My heart goes out to the families of these men and women. Their sons and daughters died because Mr. Bush and his government lied to America about WMD and the phony direct connection between Bin Laden and Hussain.

It is time for each of us to stand up and say, “Stop Mr. Bush’s New Crusade!”

“I protest the occupation of Iraq!”

*


Why is Oil so Expensive?

The USA, in Iraq, is sitting on top of the world’s largest and richest oil reserves. Could it be that the Oil Oligarchy is just raking in the cash? Thank you Mr. Bush. Again, America and the World looses because of the "Unholy War and Occupation of Iraq."

Former White House Anti-terrorism Advisor Says Invasion of Iraq Increases Threat of Terror

So said Richard Clark who had been Bush’s top counter-terrorist official up until February 2003. Clark also accused Bush of ignoring threats of terror before the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Clark has a new book, Against all Enemies and he appeared on CBS’ 60 minutes, Last evening, Sunday, March 21, 2004.

* image acquired from Blood for Oil, “http://www.bloodforoil.org/dubyah/” (Viewed Saturday, March 21, 2004, 10:12 A. M. EST)

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

Straightworld

I had another one of those dreams in which I’m running and the police are chasing me. Only, it’s not me. I mean, I’m somebody else. I’m young and I’m healthy, and my name is Stephen Gulliver. Last night I got away from them for the first time. Usually I wake up as they are about to capture me.

Interjected April 12, 2004 - Stephen has become a regular part of my life, and he now has his own journal. It is located at "Straight World"All of his entries are being removed from my journal and placed in his.


Dinner with Ruth and Samuel

The professor was there! Other than that, or perhaps, because of him, it was tense. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t like the man! He wanted to know why the first Varnastrama Journal is so damaged.

“It’s ripped apart, Isaac! How did that happen?”

“If memory serves me, Henry, our Golden Retriever got into Sanctuary, summer of 72. I had forgotten to lock the door when I went downstairs to get something to eat. I got back to sanctuary with a plate full of liverwurst and onion sandwiches and there lay Henry in the center of Sanctuary, right in front of my easel, chewing on the mangled notebook.”

“It’s just too bad. Page after page is missing, and half of what’s left is unreadable.”

“Asi es la vida,” I said.

The professor and Ruth exchanged glances at that point. I’d say that they might be having an affair, but I can’t imagine what Ruth would find at all interesting in the professor. He’s so straight laced, and prim, and too neat, and... Oh well, I just don’t like anything about him. But, something’s going on.

Tilly Fainted...

last night at our weekly “Prickly Needle” social. She fell flat out on the floor and struck her head on a table leg. She was bleeding like a stuck pig, but the nurse on duty was able to stop the bleeding with ice and pressure before the ambulance arrived.

This morning I went to the “Big Needle” dining room for breakfast instead breakfasting in my apartment because I hoped that there might be news about Tilly. There was plenty of talk and rumor, but no actual announcement has been made as to what happened. So, after I finished eating I went to the front desk, and inquired about Tilly. Mrs. Crump, she's the nicest of the ladies that mans (or should I say "persons") the front desk said that Tilly was Okay.

"I understand that she ate breakfast this morning, and is scheduled for tests this afternoon."

I asked, “What kind of tests?”

“At this point we don’t know, Isaac.”

“Can she have visitors?”

“Oh yes.” But I’d wait until this evening or tomorrow, because she will be out of her room most of the day today.”

I thanked Mrs. Crump and headed back to my apartment to write this entry.

Have a good one, dear Journal.


Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the LGBT news magazine.

My Schedule Today

1. Up at 6:00 A.M.


2. Ablutions - 6:15 to 6:45


3. Exercise ankle and stretches - 6:45 to 7:15 A.M.


4. Breakfast in the apartment not in Pine Needle dining room - 7:15 to 8:00 A.M.


5. Help Peter do his wash and clean his apartment - 8:00 A.M. to 9:30 A. M.


6. Take my old cucaracha (VW beetle) for gas - 9:30 to 10:30 A.M.


7. Get Godiva chocolates a dinner gift for Ruth - 10:30 to 11:00 AM.>


8. Return to Pine Needle at 11:30 A.M.


9. Lunch with Jim and Peter at the Ritz Carlton (that’s the Prickly Needle Dining Room) - 12:00 P. M.


10. Bridge - 2:00 to 4:00 P.M.


11. Back to the apartment and catch up on periodicals and and read news on line - 4:00 to 6:00 P.M.


12. Dinner at the Ritz with Peter & Jim (Jim invited Millie Denkle and Tillie Herr to sit with us tonight, Drat!) - 6:00 to 7:30 P.M.


13. Back to the apartment and I’m working on this entry, Dear Journal - 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. I know an hour is a long time to compose this little bit, but I shake a lot!


14. Evening ablutions 9:00 to 10:00 P.M.


15. Bed to read a bit more and watch the news on T.V. 10:00 to 11:00 P.M.


16. Go to bathroom (the first of 4 to 6 nightly trips. ( I’m going to have to ask the doctor about this. It’s up from 2 times/night


17. Lights out at 11:30 P.M.

29 Die In Baghdad Hotel Blast


*

What were Bush and his cronies thinking when they thought they could just walk in and create an Arab democracy in a year or two. And, they planned to do that in a country that had lived under a maniacal totalitarian dictator for 35 years. Iraq is a country with no history of democracy whatsoever. Our democracy didn’t just happen with the signing of the declaration of independence. Then it was a democracy for white males of some substance. Women and native indians were both excluded, as were the blacks brought to most states as slaves. We are still struggling with the idea that all our citizens deserve the same rights. During the 19th century women fought for the vote. During the 20th blacks fought for the same rights as whites. Today gay and lesbian people fight for the same rights as their heterosexual brothers and sisters. In fact the very same man who believed he could cram democracy down the throat of the Iraqi people wants to write a constitutional amendment in this country to make GLBT people second class citizens with limited rights.

Ah, well. I feel pain for the families of the 29 people killed in yesterdays bombing. And, I feel anger at the horrible idea that killing oneself in order to kill others is service to Allah. I have news for these sick maniacs, if your god, Allah exists rather than mine - and I doubt that - they are probably one and the same entity - he/it/she does not condone your death and will not supply you with wine women and song in heaven. The people you killed may be enjoying the benefits of heaven. There is no room for you there, only that place we in the West call hell. Enjoy!

*image acquired from “Blood for Oil, “http://www.bloodforoil.org/,” September 27, 2002 (viewed Thursday, March 18, 2004, 6:30 A.M. EST).



E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage
AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLBT news magazine.

Ruth Called

She wants me to come to dinner Friday night. She said that it will be the 4 of us, Ruth, Samuel, the Professor and myself. I agreed to arrive at Orchard Hill ar 5:30 for cocktails and hors d’ oeuvres. For some reason I have a sense of foreboding about this dinner. Ah, well, I suppose I’m just being weird.

Al-Qaida Claims Responsibility for Madrid Bombings

Was there any doubt? Not on my part.

It is sad and horrifying that once again Al-Qaida has killed so many innocent people. And, we must destroy this disgusting and evil organization. However, as a nation we are also responsible. We committed a brobdingnagian act of terror by invading Iraq. We are responsible for the deaths of 10,000 Iraqi civilians (men, women, and children), 200 Spanish, and 560 of our own in this misbegotten invasion of an Arab nation. Iraq is not directly linked to Al-Qaida, and even if it were able to be so linked, the ordinary citizens, like you and me, were not, and are not responsible for the evil acts carried out by this group of maniacal Al-Qaida fanatics.

Spain's New Government Disavows Iraq War

Mr. Bush’s 23rd crusade is a disaster!

Mr. Bush should be impeached!

There, I said it. I refuse to call him, “Mr. President,” because he is not my president. Al Gore is.

*

There is a small voice deep down inside saying, “be reasonable, Isaac.”

Well, I’m not being reasonable. I don’t want to be reasonable. I’m angry!

* image acquired from Hogwild.Netg, “http://hogwild.net/images/Misc/al.gore.grandma.jpg” (Viewed Tuesday, March 16, 2004, 6:36 A. M. EST)



E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN ADS

I hardly ever curse. However, Bush’s negative campaign ad flooding the media market is likely to make me do so. The statement that Kerry is proposing a $900 million dollar tax increase is simply a lie, and is one more piece of evidence that you can’t trust a word Mr. Bush utters. Karl Rove’s strategy - lie good, say it over and over, and your version becomes the new truth - surfaces once again. The sad thing is that these folks manage to convince themselves and the Republican Party in general that their inaccurate versions of the world are true.

*

And, the truth is...

Iraq Body Count

The number of Iraqi deaths attributed to this war that is not a war is estimated at somewhere between 8000 and 10,000, and the American death toll is over 560. Of course, we know that Iraq bodies are not as important as American bodies.



Train Bombs

I have been reading about this thing with horror and disgust, and I swear I woke up last Friday morning feeling as though something were dreadfully wrong. I don’t normally make claims to have extra sensory perception, and I’m not doing so now, but, the evil of this terrorist action is, I believe, directly palpable. How is it possible for human beings to think that by killing and maiming hundreds and thousands of other human beings, they will be rewarded in heaven? I’m beginning to think that some cultures, our own included, have parts that are like cancer, and that they should and must be removed by whatever means necessary. The surgical act should be done as expediciously as possible before metastasis spreads the cancer throughout the entire culture, destroying it from within.

Never the less, one does not remove such cancers from within by attacking other bodies. By definition, that is a terrorist act and can not be condoned. Instead, one must start by investigating one’s own corpus.

We will be attacked by terrorists again, the question is not when, rather it is two fold - who will the attackers be, and how will they attack? The billions Mr. Bush is spending on the Iraq “unwar” should be spent on preparing to defend our nation from terrorist cancers planted within our own borders. The Arab world will, given time and our absence, be able to recognize its own disease.

I Had a Dream...

last night. Or was it a dream? That is the question. It was so real, like Varnastrama is real. It felt as though the space in which I found myself was actual because I could see in color and 3 dimensions in great detail. I could smell the trees, plants, and mold, and I could feel the damp night mist settle on my face. Upon waking I named the place Bushworld, because I knew deep in my gut that it’s horrors were the direct result of Mr. Bush’s foreign and domestic policies including his constitutional amendment that would legalize descrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons.

In the dream, I was running from the police. They were in flying vehicles that made no sound, but sprayed me with light from above. Their amplified voices filled the air, and seemed to come from all points of the compass.

“Homosexual, stop! To run is futile. You will be shot if you continue to run. Stop, now!”

I awoke covered with sweat.


* image acquired from Blood for Oil, “http://www.bloodforoil.org/dubyah/” (Viewed Saturday, March 13, 2004, 11:09 A. M. EST)


E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.
Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

Pennsylvania Dutch Gothic



In the spring of 1954 I began to make a series of photographs of myself dressed in silver foil. The first time we shot the photographs at Orchard Hill Farm it was a glorious spring day. The intense sunshine, new red and acid-green foliage on the maple trees, and the deep purple iris opening in the garden contributed to an atmosphere of gaiety as we created the family portraits. We walked from the old front porch with its two front doors to the herb garden, the barn and other out buildings, and finally to the pasture, creating tableaus as we went. I, however, performing in foil, felt like a baked potato, roasting in the hot sun. Everyone joked about the aroma the costume and I were generating as we posed for several variations of Pennsylvania Dutch Gothic, my aberrant version of Grant Wood’s famous painting.

When I began creating the “Foil Man Performances” in 1954 they were like a nervous habit and I didn’t know what I was doing or why. I just felt the need and fortunately my family went along with me. However, looking back on the performances today I know that they have many levels of meaning; psychological, sexual, and cultural.

I will write more about the performances in the future, dear journal.

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

My Daughter’s Visit

She was here with a her vacuum in tow! “Yours doesn’t work very well, Daddy,” she said.

“But, my apartment doesn’t need cleaned, Ruth.”

“That’s what you say. You have dust bunnies wearing dust bunnies.”

“I just vacuumed it yesterday,” I said.

“That’s what I said, your vacuum doesn’t work, and that’s why I brought mine. You need a new one. Maybe for your birthday I’ll get you a new one.”

“ By next September I’ll be knee deep in dust bunnies humping dust bunnies. Besides, while your shopping for me, I’d rather have a new car.”

“Don’t be so difficult. I’m just here to help.”

“I’d rather you came to visit.”

“We’re visiting now.”

“So, sit down beside me on the couch and let’s talk.”

“We’re talking, Daddy!” She said in a tone half between a whine and exasperated gasp. “Besides, we can talk more the next time you come to the farm for dinner. Right now, I want to get your apartment cleaned.”

And so it goes. We go around and around, and all because Ruth is in the process of doing, or has done something, goodness only knows what, that she knows deep down inside she shouldn’t have. It worries me.

John Glenn Bashes Bush’s Manned Mars Mission

I’ve been a science fiction fiend ever since I left the Amish order 65 years ago. Mars, the solar system in general, and the stars are mankind's future as far as I’m concerned. So, I was rather upset when I read about John Glenn’s Bush bashing. However, It seems that Glenn has some genuine concerns. For instance, the Bush plan scraps the International Space Station project in favor of a moon base from which to launch the Mars mission. In effect Bush’s plan jumps from one gravity well, Earth’s to another, the Moon’s, before launching to Mars. The International Space Station would entail only one gravity well, Earth’s. Because of the double gravity well, launching expense alone will be much higher for the Bush plan. Additionally, building a base on the moon will be more expensive than building the International Space Station because of that second gravity well. However, Glenn’s chief concern is the scrapping of all the primary research already planned for the International Space Station. America’s future lies in primary research because applied research is an outgrowth of the former. All the new gizmos and gimcracks that make us the huge economic success and have allowed us to dominated the world economy for the past 50 years are the result of applied research. For instance, just working out the details of systems that will operate the various modules of the space station’s system including the human habitat will provide advances in technology that can be applied to earthside quarters whether industrial, domestic, or institutional.

In short, I was wrong about the one area in which I thought Mr. Bush had gotten it right. He's gotten space exploration screwed up too.

Let’s scrap this president before he scraps America’s future!

*

* image acquired from the ISS, International Space Station Web Site, http://www.shuttlepresskit.com/ISS_OVR/ (viewed Monday, March 8, 2004, 6:26 A. M. EST)

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

Myrtle Goes to the Doctor


*
I never talk to Myrtle much. I tend to look right past most women these days. Up until the last few years, I would flirt with women as part of my straight persona. However, since I came out as a gay man, my attention seems to fasten on the men in my life, even the straight ones. However, Myrtle is my neighbor so I volunteered to take her to her doctor's office this past Friday. Seems she’s been having these dizzy spells, and she feinted during an outing with friends last week. I’m not to know this last because she hasn’t told anyone. But, Her best friend, Alice told me that Myrtle was afraid she might have to go to the hospital if the “Prickly Needle” management find out. The management of our august facility are always afraid of being sued by family of residents, even though most families don’t bother visiting their incarcerated moms or dads much. (I guess I shouldn’t complain about Ruthie. She visits me all the time.) However, the least little medical problem happens to any of us, and we get slammed in the germ bin where all the “White Coats” ignore us because we’re old, strange, and going to die of something soon anyway.

On one visit for excruciating back pain. I was told to get used to it, that it would only get worse. That was the diagnosis and prognosis in one sentence. It’s as though we’re damaged goods, and there’s no point spending any time on us. Money, yes; Time, no!

Back to Myrtle. I drove her to the doctor and after we waited 45 minutes in his waiting room, Myrtle was taken back. She insisted I go along. We’re not good friends, so I was bewildered by that. The nurse weighed Myrtle, and then took us to a small examining room. You know what it looked like, poorly accomplished original art in expensive frames on the walls, probably bought at a local fair. Also, on the wall next to the door was a chart of the human body, see through, with the various systems in different colors; circulatory red, pulmonary green, limbic blue, nervous lavender. There was gray Industrial carpet on the floor, two metal chairs with dull rose upholstery seats and back rests. A gray laminated wood cabinet and sink stood along one wall. And, the big paper covered examining table set obliquely in the center of the room.

The nurse sat Myrtle in the seat closest to the sink and took her blood pressure. Then she asked me to leave the room and told Myrtle to take her top off. I sat in the hall outside the room, reading an old Advocate Magazine issue that I had brought with me for just this purpose. The nurse came out of the room, then the doctor went in the room. After five minutes he left, and the nurse went back in for a few more minutes. When Myrtle came out she looked relieved.

“What did he say?” I asked.

“He said it’s my sugar level, that I need to eat more often and in smaller amounts. If I feel faint, I’m to eat something on the spot. If that doesn’t help I’m to call and set up another appointment.”

So, for now, Myrtle’s hospital worries are over. I hope she takes the doctor’s advice and eats LESS but more often. She needs to lose weight! But, I’m being bitchy, so I’ll end my account for today.

* Image acquired from “About Us,” UConn Health Center, http://www.uchc.edu/hc/info.html, Revised January 14, 2004 (viewed Sunday, March 7, 2004, 9:42 A.M. EST)

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

Rosie O’Donnell Married!

To Rosie,

Go Rosie! Go Rosie!

O’Donnell’s statement that President Bush’s actions “are the most vile and hateful words ever spoken by a sitting president” is one that had to be made. Can he be made to realize that history will see his call for a constitutional amendment banning gay and lesbian marriage for what it is. PREJUDICE against a class of citizens? Quite frankly, I doubt it.

*

Petition Against Constitutional Amendment

If you want to sign a petition against the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage suggested by the President, go to Don’t Amend.com.

Bush’s Campaign Spots

So, why wouldn’t he use 9/11 images? He was the one in charge during the largest attack on our country since the red coats invaded the colonies. His commercials don’t show the planes hitting, nor people jumping from the 97th floor. I’m not one of his admirers, Dear Journal, but I don’t see what’s so terrible about these commercials.

Kerry’s Mortgage

He borrowed 6 million against his house to help finance his campaign (The actual value of the house was a cool 12.8 million. Some house!) Last night all the news folk seemed to think that Kerry would be unable to finance the rest of his campaign. Or, worse, some said that part of the money belonged to his wife, since they own the house jointly. SO WHAT! She’s not supposed to help finance his campaign? Evidently not. I say, let’s all get busy and get the Kerry’s a spare 150 million to put them on the same playing field as Mr. Bush.

* “People in the News: O’Donnel Lowers Height of Fence, Amarillo Globe News on Line, Wednesday, September 10, 2003 (viewed Friday, March 5, 2004, 6:34 A. M. EST)


E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

The Majority of Americans Are Against Equality for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered Persons

I’ve listened to and / or read this statement several times, once on “Crossfire,” except it’s not put in quite so unpalatable a manner. It is used to show that gays and lesbians should not be given the same rights as their heterosexual brothers and sisters. I have rephrased the statement in order to reflect the actual prejudice against America’s GLBT sons and daughters. Instead, the argument goes something like the following.

Based on pole results sixty-seven percent of all (heterosexual) Americans are against Gay marriage. In a democracy it is the will of the majority that counts. Therefore the president is asking for an amendment that defines marriage as a contract that may only be made between a man and a woman. The President was forced to ask for the new amendment because the majority of Americans are against Gay Marriage.

This argument is fallacious and reflects the prejudice of any person using it. In fact, it is not much of an argument at all. Let’s take it apart. First, poles are notoriously inaccurate. The sample may have been poorly chosen. For instance, the sample may be based on those who watch a particular program on television, or those who choose to check in at a particular Web site. Second, our constitution is supposed to protect the rights of all Americans, not just the majority of Americans. The animus of the constitution has developed over time to become increasingly open to allowing all groups to participate in our society, and in the democratic process to the fullest extent possible. Three examples will serve to substantiate my claim. The majority of Americans in the early Nineteenth Century were in favor of maintaining a society in our Southern states based on slavery. The majority of the male citizenship in the USA in the late Nineteenth Century were in favor of denying women the right to participate fully in our culture including the right to vote. The majority of Americans during the middle of the Twentieth Century were in favor of denying the right of black people to access stores, restaurants, and public restrooms based solely on the color of their skin. Finally, The President is not forced to do anything because of pole results. If he has convictions, his behavior is a result of those though it may be influenced by knowledge about the desires of some of his constituents. Thus, If we had allowed the constitution to be used to define who deserves all the rights and privileges of American citizenship historically, American citizenship would be limited only to males of Western European origen.
*

I am also disappointed that Senator Kerry has not been able to come out for gay marriage. The definition of leadership sometimes involves taking a stand and working to convince others that you are correct. Sometimes leadership involves taking risks. Senator Kerry’s reputation as a Liberal is at stake here. And, so to is the reputation of the Democratic Party as the liberal party, the party willing to defend the rights of all Americans regardless of religion, color or ethnic background, sex, or sexuality. It is time for Democrats to reclaim their concern for each and every man, woman, and child in the USA. It is time for Americans to realize that the current administration is concerned only for the rich. It is time for all Americans understand that those currently in power in the Republican party would reestablish a society in which the rights of those with money are preserved while those of the middle classes are increasingly limited, and more and more Americans are disenfranchised.


*This image was taken from Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards, http://www.bettybowers.com (viewed Monday, March 1, 2004 at 6:44 A.M. EST).

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.

Tah-dah!

Dichotomized Human Sexuality

Since coming out as a senior gay man, I have often wondered whether or not the dichotomized pair, homosexual versus heterosexual makes sense. I mean, we tend to think in terms of these two kinds of sexualities as being in opposite corners. If we even bother to think of other kinds of sexualities, they are considered to be of minor importance. When was the last time you participated in a conversation about sex changing surgery? And, if you did, was it possible for everyone partaking in that intercourse to do so without bleeting, (“E-e-e-e-u-u-u-u-u-w! “) while discussing the complicated surgical procedures necessary to transform a male into a female, or visa versa?” In fact, I bet the conversation was closed down before it could get that far, because most of us are not capable of thinking outside the homosexual versus heterosexual box.


Dichotomized Bears *2

On the other hand, research in anthropology and related fields demonstrates that the Western dichotomized conceptualization of sexuality is unusual. Vittorio Gallo and Phyllis R. Robinson state the following in a discussion about variability of human sexuality in an article titled, “Is There a Homosexual Brain, in The Gay and Lesbian Review: Worldwide.

"Furthermore, cross-cultural research shows, among myriad other variations in sexual categorization, that there are cultures in which men have heterosexual nuclear families and are happy with this construction, yet they also have sexual relationships with other men, without identifying as either homosexual or bisexual(Gallo, 14)".*

In fact, the greatest difficulty may be encountered by an anthropologist when attempting to study homosexual behavior in a culture which has no thought about such behavior and thus, no terms to describe it. In his book, Same Sex, Different Cultures: Exploring Gay and Lesbian Lives, (1997) Gilbert Herdt uses the phrase “same-gender sexual relations” instead of the term homosexual because he believes in a three-dimensional model for human sexuality. He describes that model metaphorically in the following statement.

The many terms that might be employed to refer to same-gender relations, including the terms bisexual, gay, and lesbian in western cultures, must be understood as historically situated passageways, as spaces in a larger house of uncertain construction and infinite number of rooms none of which should be a priori privileged over others (Herdt 5).*1

I like Gilbert Herrdt’s metaphorical house of sexuality and I would like to spread the good news about it. That is, we all live in Herdt’s house, no matter what our sexuality. The house shelters us and makes us one family, even those of us who hate our brothers and sisters for their various sexualities.

*Gallo, Vittorio, Robinson, Phyllis R. “Is There a ‘Homosexual Brain?’” The Gay and Lesbian Review VII.1 (2000): 12-15.

*1 Herdt, Gilbert. Same Sex, Different Cultures: Exploring Gay and Lesbian Lives. Boulder: Westview Press, 1997.

*2 The image above was taken from The American Bear Association and Vince Shute Wildlife Sanctuary, http://www.americanbear.org/ (viewed Saturday, February 28, 2004 at 1;20 P.M. EST).

E-mail me! My e-mail address is ZacSfuts@aol.com.

Visit my homepage

AOL Hometown


Take a look at:

Betty Bower’s Miracle Cards for wonderful political commentary you can send to your friends. She plays the part to the fullest!=

Holty’s blog for great political comentary and much more from an Australian point of view.

Mark Harden’s Artchive. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the best place to find excellent images of artist’s works on the WWW.

Gay Artist’s Galleries

Oku’s Surotic Gallery, an erotic art site.

Arts and Letters Daily, ideas, criticism, and debate, a service of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

ArtsJournal.com, the Daily Digest of Arts, Culture, & Ideas.

the Advocate, the GLTB news magazine.