I had been so busy with family and my trip north that I hadn’t thought about Peter – well, not as much anyway. However, since I returned to Florida, he has been constantly on my mind. I’m such a silly old man. I pick up the phone several times a day thinking that it is time to call him. I hold it in my hand, stare at it as though it is a foreign object from another planet. What is this I hold in my hand - what strange manner of thing, and I am empty headed. Finally I put the phone down and go work on a photograph or drawing in the attempt to distract myself.

I will work for 15 to 20 minutes before my mind drifts back to Peter, and once again I find myself staring into space lost in beach memories, evening talks about religion, philosophy, and books. Why did he have to be so damn intelligent and interesting as well as magnificently made?

It has been months since Peter and I agreed not to see or talk to one another for thirty days. Surely he has found his sexual freedom - young hunks must be clamoring for dates. He has probably forgotten all about me, and I should leave him alone.

But I can’t get him off my mind!

You can send E-mail comments to

ZacSfuts@Comcast.net

, or post them below.