July 01, 2006

Clubbing in West Palm Beach
The boys took me out last night to Kashmir, a dance club in West Palm Beach. I had a good time watching the dancers, and I had too much to drink. Of course, at my age that means I had two Captain and Cokes. Oh, to be young again. I know it’s a cliché, but if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I could turn the gay world into my toy. However, if I could turn back the clock, and lead a gay life, all my adult life – I wouldn’t have my children, or grandchildren. I wouldn't have Adam, and I wouldn’t have spent all those difficult but wonderful years with my Rebecca. Would my life have been better?

I know that it is best not to live a lie, but life is not black and white. It is a terribly complex and wondrous gift. I think all those lovely young men and women on that dance floor last night have a better chance to lead a truthful gay life than I did, though there are still so many obstacles. (Since the Neo-con evangelical Republican machine took over the country in 2000, chances for honest living seem to be on a down-curve.) As I was saying, those young men and women might someday be able to marry, have children, and have a moral life sanctioned by their society in which they can be first class citizens. In fact, I know that so many have already decided to have children despite a reactive climate that prevents the non-biological parent from adopting his/her partner’s child. My own new state, Florida has a specific law that prevents gay and lesbian families from adopting despite the fact that many orphans will spend their childhood as wards of the state. Ah well, I’m getting political and I’ll save that for “Isaac’s Political Journal.”

I watched my boys dance last night. I saw Stephen’s head rest on Adam’s shoulder during one of the rare slow dances. As they turned in unison, I saw that Adam had closed his eyes. His face was composed, like that of an angel, filled with peace and contentment, as though God had kissed him on the forehead. Tears came to my eyes.

“God, please bless them,” I said softly, and my words were lost beneath the loud slow-music thunder of the huge club speaker system.

South Florida Waves


I've been taking photographs of waves at the beach and I will inlcude them often. Here's the first.
Wave61

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1 Comments:

Anonymous sean said...

love the atlantic coast!

big up's j-town!

4:58 PM  

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