June 07, 2006

More about This Terrible Proposed Marriage Constitutional Amendment

Or, how I’m dealing with the emotional turmoil provoked by the amendment and its proponents.

I’ve been “stone throwing” angry about this situation as previous entries have demonstrated. So, last night I prayed for help to deal with my feelings, and I think my plea was received, though I’m not one of those to whom God speaks personally. Be that as it may, I now know that Jesus Christ would be the first to walk into the precincts of The Temple and chastise the evangelical church leaders, the President, the Republican dominated Senate, and soon to come, the Republican dominated Senate of the United States of America for playing politics with the lives of many millions of LGBT citizens in order to achieve their worldly political goals.

How do I know this? Because I discovered the following two mental images and much more last night while I prayed. First, I visualized the individual citizens of our country each with his or her personality, character, conscious and sub-conscious mind, sexuality, political – social - religious beliefs, self-concept, and history as a system of concentric circles (Yes, like a Mandala*). Second, I pictured the conscious self, peering inward from various points located on the outer circumference down through the various layered circles to the center point, piercing it, radiating out again through those points on the outer circumference and beyond, a star burst of concentrated effort, a super nova of infinite expansion into the universe.

It seemed to me that these two images demonstrated however inadequately our relationship with God. Simply put, God is inside each of us, and God is outside each of us. At the same time, it is not so simple because we cannot find God in the universe unless we discover her/him/it within ourselves. Conversely, we cannot find God inside ourselves unless we also discover her/him/it outside in the universe. Having said that, I believe it is possible for each of us to experience something of God, though our knowledge based on that experience must be limited by all those variables listed in the second sentence in the paragraph above.

Upon finishing my prayer/ meditation, I felt as though I had a better understanding of this current political situation through my personal experience of God. That experience tells me that God is good. I also know that God made me the way I am because God is good. I’m still angry, and I must continue to pray for help with that anger. Never the less, I must also work to forgive the evangelical Christians for their prejudice concerning my sexuality because it is possible for a cultural institution, like the church to interrupt or limit personal knowledge of God because of dogmatic practices within that institution. Thus it is the church, and not individual experience of God that has prevented evangelicals from knowing that God made the various human sexualities because God is good.

*For more information about the mandalas visit Exploring the Mandala.

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