Retirement Home Life

Im bored, and I'm spoiled. I'm used to the warm weather in Florida, and galavanting all over the place. The routine back here in Pennsylvania at THE BIG NEEDLE is tedious. The main topics of conversation include the various ailments and illnesses folks suffer from, the most recent affairs (Yes, sexual affairs!) and who has or hasn’t been visited by family in the past weeks. The schedule is tedious too. I’m up at 5:30 A . M. and take breakfast in my apartment. The art group has been switched to 10: 00 A. M ., and I help with that. Of course, it’s not really art. We make popsickle bird houses, and clothspin animals of various sorts, silk flowers are glued permanently into plastic tea cups, and that ruins both the tea cup and the silk flowers. We also gather real foliage and dry it to make winter arrangements for the dining room, and various other public rooms in the complex. I’m in charge of those, so I use my gay decorating skills and they usually look pretty good (Well, everyone knows the stereotype that gay people are good in the arts).



The main topics of conversation include the various ailments and illnesses folks suffer from... *



My favorite project of all time was the Scarecrow Santa Clause. Of course he wasn ‘t really called that. He was made from hay, so I gave him the appelation. He looked like a Pennsylvania Dutch version of a voodoo doll.

I was upset with Tillie Herr before the Christmas Holiday. I no longer remember why. Be that as it may, I told her to go stick pins in her Voodoo Santa - and she did. She nick-named him “Isaac, Santa’s anti-Christmas helper,” and she took him to lunch every day. There, while Jim, Myrtle, Millie, and Peter watched, she would insert new pins in various and sundry places, some not repeatable in polite company. Then she’d call me in Florida and ask “Doesn’t it hurt yet, Isaac?” Ah, yes, she can be such a dear.

On Tuesday and Thursday my Bridge Club meets at 1:30 PM, right after lunch. At 4:00 I retire to my apartment for a nap, and I usually go to dinner around 5:45 PM or 6:00 PM in THE PRICKLY NEEDLE dining room. After dinner I watch the news, and get “P O’d” at GW. I read for an hour or two, or work on this journal, and go to bed around 10:00 P.M. My doctor prescribed sleeping pills, so I usually get a decent night’s sleep. I can see no reason to lay awake at night, tossing and turning in sleepless missery.

Of course there are variations on this schedule, and I often write about those interesting diversions as special entries. Stay tuned for those exciting episodes in the life of “The Olde Gay Fart of Pine Needle Manor.”

Tsunami Victims

I sent another one hundred dollars to the American Friends Service Committee just yesterday. I can’t stop thinking about the tragedy!

Give to the following in order to help reunite orphans with distant relatives, and to insure that your money is used by people with true humanitarian concerns rather than proselytizing religious zeal.

American Friends Service Committee, and UNICEF

* “The Bug Bible,” www.safefood.net, © Copyright Meat and Livestock Australia, visited Wednesday, February 16, 2005, 10:55 PM EST.


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