The Trip Home

It was uneventful, Dear Journal. I reversed the journey I took back on Christmas day - see my January first entry - and I spent no extra time anywhere along the way. I didn’t push myself too hard, and spent three nights in motels. However, another time, I would like to stop in Savannah, Georgia and spend a few days. That is if there is another time. At my age, one never knows. I guess that’s true of any age. When we are young, we just don’t realize how brief is our allotted time. Just think about all those poor souls who were vacationing in Southeast Asia for their Christmas holiday, laying on the beach, in the sun, and then...

Ah well, at least no one died here at THE BIG NEEDLE while I was gone. It’s winter. I’ve included this photograph of the view from the back porch of my apartment. It’s cold, but there is no snow. It is good to be home again, though I wish my home were in the South of Florida somewhere. I will definitely have to work on that. I think I’ve proven to myself that I am still perfectly capable of living on my own, despite what Ruth (my lovely daughter) might think.

I had to throw a temper tantrum with the management yesterday. While I was gone, they put some senile old fart - I can say that because I am one - in my place in the dining room. I was unable to sit with my friends Jim and Peter, Myrtle, and Millie. As you may or may not recall, they are all straight, but tolerant of my sexuality whereas most of the fundamentalist religious idiots here won’t even talk to me because they know that gay people consort with the devil. One sweet old grandma told me “You will roast in Hell for all eternity!”

“Why, I asked? “God made me. He doesn’t make mistakes. He’s perfect. Why would he put me in Hell?”

“God didn’t ‘t make you a homo, she said. You chose to be homosexual.”

“Well, my dear. Knowing that I’m doomed to spend all eternity on a rotisserie being rotated like a suckling pig, why would I choose to be a “homo,” as you so eloquently put it?”

“Because you are a sinner, “she said.

“So, you and your church hate sinners.”

“Of course not. We hate the sin, not the sinner.”

“Then, why must sinners roast in hell for ever and ever?”

“Because you’re evil.”

“And why isn’t your self righteousness a sin for which you will burn in Hades for all time?

“I am not self righteous. I am heterosexual. The Bible doesn’t say anything about heterosexuals sinning. In fact it tells us ‘to be fruitful and multiply.’”

“The Bible doesn’t use the word heterosexual or homosexual. The words didn’t exist...”

“You spill your seed on the ground. That’s a sin, and you’re going to hell you evil fagot,” she shrieked and stormed down the hall so fast her walker burned rubber.

I learned my lesson that day. There is no point arguing with these people. Their minds are made up. It has nothing to do with God and the Bible. Instead, it has everything to do with their insecurities. They are fearful. They hate, and they are prejudiced. The evangelical culture of their church teaches them to be that way, and that culture has to be changed before they can be changed. It is sad to me that so many “men of the cloth” teach fear, hate and prejudice to their congregations. Perhaps it is they who are defending their own sexual insecurities. I’m sure that at least a few of them have subliminal homosexual urges. Perhaps that’s is why the evangelicals are attacking Kinsey. That scale he invented makes them nervous. God forbid that any of them should have even the slightest homosexual inclination.

I feel that a God who truly loves will forgive them their self-righteous heterosexuality. I know that he made me gay for a perfectly good reason. The journey I have made in this life has been a wondrous experience, and that is why I compose this journal. Perhaps you, Dear Journal are the reason God made me gay. Perhaps not. I am not privileged to God’s thinking, as are many evangelicals. God is too complex for a mere mortal to understand. However, I do thank him for my journey to Florida, and my journey through this life as well.

Tsunami Victims

Some estimates are now as high as 200,000 dead with as many persons still missing. That is a tragedy on a scale so extreme that I can’t imagine it.

Give to the following in order to help reunite orphans with distant relatives, and to insure that your money is used by people with true humanitarian concerns rather than proselytizing religious zeal.

American Friends Service Committee, and UNICEF


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