April 24, 2004

Free to Be

I was too depressed today to go to my bridge group at 10:00 AM. And, I normally help with the arts and crafts group that meets at 2:00 in the afternoon. I called in sick today. I just have to think my way out of this funk.

As I look back, I am pleased with what I have done with my life. So, I will continue to talk about that past life from time to time dear journal. The past is terribly important to me because I don’t yet know what my future holds. I could still write a new volume to the Varnastrama Journals, and/or do silver man performances, as I’ve said, but they would not be part of the official archive of my life as an artist. It would kill Ruth if I’m Discovered walking around WallMart as the silver man. Do you think I could get headlines in the Intelligencer Journal (local daily newspaper)? I may even release my own line of cosmetics and fragrances. “Eue d’ Reflection, the cologne for the man or woman who really isn’t there” might be good. My French is terrible, so I’d have to check on the correct spelling of reflection. I could put out a few hundred bottles for a couple of hundred dollars. It would be worth it to have those bottles with a picture of the foil man in drag on shelves in local boutiques. Ruth would (bleep)!

I have been so miserable for weeks now, but as I write this, I see that I have been given something extremely special. Ruth gave my past away which means that now I am free to be and do anything I want. So, I guess, I’m free to be an honest to goodness a nasty old fart when I want to be! What else am I free to be? Well, I’m free to flee this flea bag “Pine Needle Manor” soon as I can find a Gay and Lesbian Retirement Community I like. Ruth and the farm were the only reason I was staying. The boys are in New Jersey. My other Amish relatives (the few that are left) don’t want to know I exist. They’ve been “shunning” me since 1938. So, I’m free to leave Lancaster County, though I know I would miss the beautiful rolling hills and farms. The entire county is being paved over anyway. How pathetic is that? One of the 10 best soils in the world and we’re covering it up with solid asphalt, malls, and suburbs. (And we have the guts to tell other countries not to destroy their natural resources.)

So, I just have to decide what an 84 year old artist x-Amish gay is free to do with his life. What a quandary!




*

My Hero Died

Ralph Nader was special. He stood for the well being of the common man and the safe keeping of the environment. But, as I’ve said before, today he is on an ego trip of such mania that I am stupefied. It is so necessary to relieve Mr. Bush of office that any impediment, including Mr. Nader is not only superfluous, but dangerous. Check out my channeled man, Stephen Gulliver from an alternate reality, where Mr. Bush is elected for a second term in office and see what our world will be like after 8 years of GW and the oil oligarchy.

*Alcaraz, Lalo,L.A. Cucaracha, L A Weekly, nationally in Hispanic Magazine, in MSN, Ralph Nader by all the top artoonists, http://cagle.slate.msn.com/2000/nader/nader6.asp (viewed 4/24/04, 10:41 A.M. EDT)


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