September 09, 2003

Love Spirituality and Sex

And, what is a label but a stereotype. It is not based on actuality, but on a perception - or should I say misperception - we acquire from others or the society in which we live.

To clarify my thoughts about sex - in this case, having it - It does consume one’s physical and emotional person at the time. I’ve even been transported outside self-awareness by incredibly good sex. That is, at the moment immediately before and during climax I have lost the sense of ego. During such an orgasm, the “I” does not exist for seconds. Strangely, those seconds are empty. I can not describe them for there is nothing to describe. At such moments, sex has approached the spiritual. Perhaps this is what some persons of the fundamentalist persuasion are fearful of. Heaven forbid that sex isn’t just for procreation. Not only can it be fun, but it can be spiritual as well. Oh, and an old queer man has discovered the spiritual part. Egads!

However, if I felt it, I know that God meant for me to feel it. I don’t believe God gives us capacities that he does not wish us to experience. It wasn’t the devil either since things of a spiritual nature aren’t part of his work. His job is to move us away from the spiritual.

Corollary to the above, I believe that human love of the deepest sort can and does exist without sex. I also believe that human love of the deepest sort can exist with sex, though it is more difficult to integrate the two. It takes a great deal of effort for the persons in love to work through the uses of sex as an enhancement of that love. And when sex becomes less important than love - because love can grow beyond the human capacity to experience sex - it is important to accept that and continue to build on the love. Love is a capacity that God has given us because he wants us to know the way he feels about the universe. Therefore, nothing is more important than love.

I believe that young people - anyone younger than myself - have been taught by our culture to expect an extremely large quotient of physical pleasure from sex. (I was young once upon a time too and I was led to believe that sex was the pinnacle of human experience.) However, today, as soon as sex doesn’t meet those high expectations the search for a new partner begins, rather than try to understand why the pleasure has decreased. We might have to face the fact that it is something we are or are not doing that is preventing growth in the relationship. God forbid we should have to work hard at a loving relationship! And, that is the important element in the relationship - the love shared between two persons, not the sex they have.

E-mail me! My e-mail address is

Visit my homepage at AOL Hometown


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home