February 07, 2007

Love Isn’t Dirty

So, there’s this old man who wants to have sex with his best hunky young friend. I finally admitted it to myself – my subconscious won – and I am horny as hell.


“Why, it’s Peter of course.”

“Isaac, you can’t.”

“I know, it sounds totally evil.”

“It is!”

“It’s just that he’s so sweet, considerate, and smart, and handsome, and built – he’s my physical ideal, slender and muscular, nice basket - and ye gods, I wish I were 50 years younger!”

“So, put it back in your pants where it belongs, and perhaps your feelings will motivate you to be a good friend to the young man.”

As we’ve discussed before, I do talk to myself, especially if I’m upset about something. I answer too, which according to the old saw makes me loony as any resident in the booby hatch – just a crazy old man (C.O.M.).

“I’d say that 'Dirty Old Man' is closer to it Isaac. Pederasty, here We come.”

“He’s in his twenties. He’s not a child, and love isn’t dirty. In fact, I wonder how much of our negative perception of pederasty isn’t based on a Twenty-first century Western culture ageist orientation – that is, life before thirty is glorious - life after thirty just a descent into pathetically wrinkled dementia. ”

By way of explanation - Peter came over last evening for one of our marathon conversations about the universe, art, sex, love, and politics. We talked into the wee hours of the morning. On his way out, he turned and hugged me at the door, and I was so overwhelmed that I almost fell to the floor. I was unable to utter a word to his “goodnight, Isaac.” After closing the door absentmindedly, I performed my usual sleepy-time ablutions, went to bed and tossed and turned all night. I finally wept myself to sleep at about 4:00 A.M.

I’m such a silly old fart! I can’t tell Peter about my feelings because I will risk loosing my best friend here in Florida. I thought I might call Adam and talk to him about it, but I can’t because my being in love with Peter is so absurd, stupid, and ridiculous (Too many descriptors – so shoot me!).

What is there to do?

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Anonymous Anna said...

This happens to the best of us. I'm 31 and everyone younger then me always assumes that I'm too old to be having sex. Please, my parents are still "exercising" on a regular basis. It's hard having feelings for a friend...no matter what age they are. I understand the not crossing the boundary of friendship very well and for the most part it's a good rule to have in your life.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Isaac said...

Thanks Anna. I appreciate the reinforcement.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you Zac!I am in my sevnties and have a 25 yearold bf He breaks my heart,asks for money but he owns my soul Youre never too late to be in love Dont mess about with your ephebusTime will tell

2:52 PM  
Blogger Isaac said...

Hi, anonymous. I'd be a bit worried about the asking for money part. If he loves you, why does he need to ask for money? Money for love is not a good formula. As for my young friend, Peter - I think he might be able to teach me a thing or two about becoming a good citizen.

12:36 AM  

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